September 9, 2006
Psychologists create new conditions with aplomb, and a faddy one of late is “empty nest syndrome.”
Since Baby Boomers are now of the age when their offspring have flown the nest and since there are so many of us in that category, “empty nest” seems to fit at first blush.
Life coaches, psychologists and family experts are only doing their job when they counsel folks about the sadness and loss they experience when their kiddos leave home.
Do not get me wrong. I am sure there are some parents suffering mightily from this syndrome.
However I have to wonder, where are they?
How many depressed “empty nesters” could there be anyway?
No one I know.
My observation of “empty nesters” is quite different than that of the experts who apparently see boat loads of depressed parents who wander around aimlessly for weeks crying buckets of tears when their teens leave home.
I remember a cartoon I saw when my youngest child started school. I laughed out loud at the time. It applies now just the same as it did then.
The cartoon strip followed a mom as she walked the last of her five children to the bus on her son’s first day of kindergarten. She was telling him how much she would miss him but encouraged him to enjoy his first day of school.
As soon as the bus was out of sight, the mom in the cartoon pumped her fist into the air and yelled, “Yes!”
My thinking is there could be a lot of parents of college students saying “Yes”, too.
Friend Cassie recently packed up and launched the last of her three children to a college miles away.
Cassie explained how she felt this way:
A milestone occurred in my life last week. David and I became empty-nesters when Link left for college.
So, you may wonder, was it a sad event?
Actually, I was kind of busy, so I didn’t really notice.
The same day that Link moved into the dorm, my dog Roxy and I had our first agility trial. I had been anticipating this competition for months, so launching the last-born just had to go on without me.
Mind you, I didn’t send my baby to parts unknown all by himself.
Big sister, Becky, went along to help with the actual moving in. Link said that was much better anyway because she can carry a lot more stuff in one trip than I can.
It’s very exhilarating to have kids who are independent.
I’m entering a new phase of my life, and I’m jumping in with both feet.
My plans are to challenge myself in new ways and enjoy every day with enthusiasm and gratitude.
Thank you Cassie. Words of wisdom indeed.
Lots of us are allowing ourselves the freedom to do the same and to enjoy our long-lost passions.
I, for one, have taken up writing again and there are not enough hours in the day to accommodate this new found pursuit.
Some couples delight in taking cruises to just about everywhere the cruise liners allow.
Some take extended weekends to the lake.
Others take up long lost hobbies such as fishing or restoring old tractors.
Dennis, a widower, is off to DC whenever he can to spend days visiting the endless array of museums there.
Jim took a different job, something brand new that challenges his creativity and allows him to travel.
Margaret is quilting once again after years of neglecting her much-loved hobby.
As Cassie says, “I hope that you will also nurture the joyful you and allow yourself the freedom to enjoy your passions. Then when life makes an adjustment—like when all of your children grow up and leave home—you won’t find yourself floundering for fulfillment.”
One of Cassie’s favorite sayings goes like this, “Wherever you go, there you are.”
May you find yourself in good company.
